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Rules of ErrorLandia
Sometimes known as the ‘Erroneous Textiles’, the Rules of ErrorLandia are effectively the laws enforced upon the Empire of ErrorLandia’s subject planets, especially Falanta. Section 1: Terms of Citzenship * As a citizen of the imperial dynasty, it is up to you to vote on important decisions that the government makes public. Your voice will be heard! * Don’t like something? Speak up about it! * It is your right to own a firearm, but abuse this right and it can be easily taken away. * Jobs are always available; just ask! * Your opinion is always welcome, unless that opinion is ‘Brendan did nothing wrong’. * Always wanted to travel the galaxy? Join the army and do it for FREE! Section 2: Crime and Punishment If any of these are done twice in a row, the defendant may be subject to be handed over to the KLE for more extreme punishment. * [https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=m-9tl5GzsMw Licking doorknobs]: If caught, can lead up to 10 days in a mental estate, along with other sick-minded individuals. * Arson: Can choose to either go to jail or carry out their sentence by joining the Rising Flames. * Murder: Put on trial, can land up to 40 years in prison or being sentenced to death depending on the importance of the person. * Sexual Assault: Can land up to 40 years in prison * Child Abuse: Can land up to 35 years in prison * Theft: Can land up to 30 years depending on item value. * Robbery: Can land up to 10 years in prison. * Animal Abuse: Removes ownership of current pet and can land up to 15 years in prison. If caught 2 more times, can lead to execution. * Auto Theft: Can land up to 5 years in prison and an additional 10 for every time after. * Insulting the Emperor: Unless jokingly, direct insults are to be met with a swift slap on the wrist. Section 3: Media and News * Issuing fake news will not be tolerated. * Saying the accursed phrase of ‘video games cause violence’ will be disproven with scientific fact. * Intergalactic newspapers are a great source for unbiased information. * Be very suspicious if the editor, person on the television, or interviewer is named “Karen”. * Free speech is everyone’s right. Section 4: Military Service * Show military officers respect; Salute when they walk by (unless you’re doing something), ask them how their day is, and see what you can do for them to build your reputation. * Good soldiers follow orders, but better soldiers know to disobey an order if their officer is corrupt. * Even if you die, two more will take your place. * It sounds tempting, but don’t try flirting with soldiers of the opposite sex. * There is no “retreat”, only “tactical withdrawal”. * Soldiers of your enemy have already abandoned their opportunity for a proper burial. Why try taking them as prisoners? * Don’t be afraid to call an airstrike. We chose the ‘Close Air Support’ doctrine for a reason. * Your three favorite things to say are “Open fire!”, “Reloading!”, and “MEDIC!”.